Posted by Mindy1718 on 2015/03/09 under Uncategorized The world is pretty funny. Don’t you think? It brings pain so often that you can get confused on how to live. The more you think about something, the more you get confused on what the answer truly is. We humans are pretty stupid at times. I made a promise to myself to not say the word hate towards a person but lately it seems to be impossible. “I WANT TO RUNAWAY!” The constant words go through my mind once I see this person or when the person speaks. Everything sound like lies and anger just swallows me up with this person. “Try to stick it out. Just a little more!” These stupid words also go through my mind day by day they’re power of the words are dropping. Dammit! I have the money, I can get a place so quick! Why stay with this person? Why have to give that person so much money? Why do whatever the person asks? I don’t want to say that I hate this person. I promised myself not to hate people. Hate brings negativity… Screaming on the top of my lungs would feel so good. Crying feels like a good option too but what would that do? Leaving is my top priority now. I do not want to be associated with this person so much for I feel as though this person is going to drive me into insanity. Damn… Be respectful to your elders. My mother… The one person in this world who can really drive me into insanity. Not lasting one day of arguing about stupid or big things. She needs me but she depends on me too much. Being only 19, why is she using me so much. It’s not like she was there most of my life. Why try to act when knowing she really isn’t a mother type. She failed 6 times with my sisters. Why try to “fix” me when nothing is wrong with me? I am being used like the men she uses. “Use them and dump them.” Her motto to men she meets up with. The feeling of that motto now seems to be the people she associates with. Does she really care about people or is just selfish? Who cares now. I will stop soon leave, leave this silly game of hers. This lady cannot use me to fix her life. Live through me? Ha. Slaving to her every will is ridiculous! F*** that! I wanna do what I can to live without that F***in Ass of a mother. I don’t want to hate her but… I do…. I hate my mother. I need to breathe without her being near me. Space from her, living on my own, doing things that could make me feel alive again. Well, I am going to try harder! Do things my way! With freedom, I can breathe!